Monday, March 29, 2010

If you could give up presents…

If I could give up getting presents for Christmas and my birthday for the next 10-15 years, and pick one thing…

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THIS

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is what I would want (in black)…isn’t it beautiful? It can be all yours for the low low price of 1500.00. Read the description below…

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Product Description
This craft cabinet is a crafter's dream. It is an excellent choice for the crafter who has a million supplies but doesn't have enough space. It’s a place to work and a place to store all the scrapbooking and crafting supplies -- all-in-one!! And when closed, it looks like a beautiful, high-end piece of furniture. Imagine the space savings when an entire room of scrapbook supplies can be organized and stored in this scrapbook armoire.

When opened the Scrapbook Armoire has a collapsible table to use as a workstation and there are drawers, nooks and spaces for all of your stuff! When closed, everything hides behind a beautiful craft cabinet.

  • On wheels, this scrapbook and craft cabinet is completely movable.
  • It folds up into a handsome box, hiding all of your supplies from sight.
  • This system comes with a collapsible work table and adjustable shelves.
  • There are 87 removable canvas totes with label inserts that fold up for easy storage.
  • There are also 20 removable clear zipper pouches in 3 sizes.

Measures Closed: 36"W X 32"D X 72"H

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Do you know what I could do with 87 canvas totes?

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SERIOUSLY!

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Here is a more economical version that I think is pretty ingenious.

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Two bookshelves hinged together so that you can close them when you aren’t using it…super space saving as well.

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What ridiculous thing would you be willing to give up 10-15 years of presents for?

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Sunday, March 28, 2010

One Mountain Moved…

While listening to ‘gospel hour’ on the way to work one of my favorite songs came on…Mountain Get Out of My Way…I included a short video clip at the end of this post from youtube.com of the song.
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I smiled, because yesterday found one of my mountains moved. Before I went to work mom gave me a card that was given to her that was given anonymously to someone else (follow that?). Inside was three hundred dollars! That coupled with the one hundred someone else gifted me last week and the money I was able to save from my last check all the money the doctor wants for my surgery is PAID IN FULL!
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Praise the Lord!
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Now I just need to, suck it up, go into the hospital and speak to their financial department about how much they are going to want up front for the charges the surgery will incur on their end. I will be turning in my application for their financial assistance program, so we will see…I think what I know to be true is that surgery ain’t cheap…and news flash I am still scared of anesthesia and I HATE with a capital H-A-T-E the idea of having to wear a hospital gown and lay down on one of those hard tables all lifeless…BLAH!
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Honestly I’m not worried about it…I don’t know if it is because I am just emotionally too tired to care…or if it is a peace.
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I think it is because I am too tired to care…Seriously, I just want to not have a fever every day, I want to be able to swallow, and breath again…I want to not feel like I have an inflatable neck pillow ever expanding in my neck and I want to stop feeling like I have the flu that never ends.
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I am overwhelmed, humbled, and feeling unworthy of the generosity of others…I mean I’ve never been in a position to give someone 100 dollars…or maybe I have an never chose to make that sacrifice? There has been food for thought in this, that is sure. This no insurance thing in contrast with the seriously OUTRAGEOUS cost of procedures (it is up to 3000 dollars and we STILL have no idea what is going on, the needle biopsies alone were 700 dollars and all they told us was that I have swelling, it is hard not to be a bit bitter about that) make you questions the worth of your life/health…don’t worry I’m not getting into a bad place or anything, I just want to be honest with how it can mess with your head.
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On the bottom of a check a friend gave me for 100 dollars the memo line read…‘for God’s provision’…
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and he has provided…
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I continue to be ‘careless in the care of God’ or at least I try to be!
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Enjoy the little snip-bit of the song…Do you love it as much as I do?
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Friday, March 26, 2010

20% Less

This…

tired

is how I feel…

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Still worn down by these things in my neck…although this week has been much better due to the steroids the doctor prescribed…I took the last does yesterday…I did have one very scary episode with not being able to swallow a bite of fish sandwich that left me realizing I need to be A LOT more careful when I am eating especially when I am alone…also I weighed myself after my last post and I have lost 12lbs (without trying) I've not lost that much in a month when I AM trying...I think this has been the scariest symptom (not that I don't like the number I saw, don't get me wrong)...I kind of feel like if I eat a lot and gain the weight back I will be HEALTHY again :)

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Tonight I came to work and was told that the state is cutting the agencies budget so they are cutting my shift down from 12 hours to 10 hours a night…That is a loss of 28 hours in a month and approximately 300 dollars a month or 4000 in a year including the times when we would be paid three times in a month (20% of my take home income)…

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I had/have no idea how to react…I was quite…then I SOBBED…and now I am in deal with it mode…I don’t know when this new schedule starts…

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The only good thing I can see about this is that just yesterday I made 1000 too much a year for the hospital to guarantee assistance with my medical bills…Today I should MOST DEFINANTLY qualify…with the threat of what could be wrong with me coupled with no insurance…qualifying for assistance can only be a good thing…can be the ONLY thing…I am not one to say THIS IS GOD, I will praise him in this trial for this ‘blessing’…I don’t know what this is…I am not the only one in the company loosing 20% of their income…families with new babies, children, and lives to support are getting this news as well, and I am sure feel just as punched in the gut as I…

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A little over a year ago I was making almost twice as much as I make now and had decent and very affordable health insurance…It has been hard for me the past few weeks not to regret having moved back home…I know I needed to do it (for a lot of reasons…I made more money but I wasn’t managing it well and had gotten in over my head, thus the bankruptcy I went through 8 months ago) I can’t tell you what I would do to be where I am financially (not perfect but more responsible) and back at my old job…It would be perfect (at least in my head)…

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I don’t feel like I am a person that has a lot of regrets in life…I like learning how NOT to do things or how NOT to live my life or how NOT to treat people…the richness of who I am and how I think is because of those choices…but right now, I feel sorry for myself…

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I feel like the women in the picture at the top of this post…

and a little like this picture I found today when I was reading someone else's blog

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Most of all I feel like I’ve become one of those people I hate that ALWAYS has something going on…job loss, sickness, family trouble, money trouble, life trouble, car trouble, house trouble, money trouble…

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I have an idea for a fun post of a few things I’ve found that are OUTRAGEOUS but FUN and something fun to appreciate and dream of…so I promise…for every one sickness, frustrated post I write I will, no matter how short post something positive within the next day to balance it out!

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Let me publically remind myself that I need to be “carless in the care of God”…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…Matthew 6:26…

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Paul's Admonishments Apply to our Homemaking

God has been working into me, obedience to these passages of scripture lately:

(Colossians 3:18,22-24)Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, not with eye service; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall recieve the reward of the inheritance: For ye serve the Lord Christ.

(2 Thessolonians 3:6,11-15) Now we command you, bretheren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, (I think God has supernaturally caused this to happen to me, possibly without some of His vessels' full awareness just to chastise me.) For we here that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, (personally for me, it's more like cleaning when I want to and letting the chores pile up a little bit.) but are busybodies. (busybody probably because I tend to not discipline myself in time socializing on the computer).

12) Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. (or sister).

Well sisters, I am turning away from these sins and turning to God for help. How about any of you? Do you struggle at times? Maybe your more houseproud instead of me. Please comment to me about it below. I'd like to know. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". Love, Rosemi

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Women of God, Pray for Your Womb!

"Dear Father, I come to you in Jesus' name. I confess I have not received my womb as a gift from You. I have ignored the power of my womb and my womanly functions. I repent. Please forgive me and cleanse me in Jesus' name.



Lord, I accept my womb as a gift from You. I accept the way You created me. I embrace it. I want to fulfill Your purposes for me as a woman.



 In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, I renounce all negative words, even jokingly, that I have spoken about my womb, about menstruation, about pregnancy and about my womanly functions. I renounce any curse that has been placed upon my womb or reproductive organs from my parents, grandparents or great grandparents on both sides of my family.



I ask that You will now cleanse my womb and cover it with your blessing. I receive your blessing in the name of Jesus. Amen."



Taken from "Protect Your Womb" ~ Nancy Campbel

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

surgery

Today I had my follow up appointment with the ENT…he is recommending an outpatient surgery to remove a lympnode so that it can be tested.

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I have NEVER been under anesthesia, and it scares me…A LOT. When I was younger I can remember watching a 20/20 episode about people who had surgery but the anesthesia didn’t take so they were under enough not to be able to move…but not so deep that they didn’t feel pain…could you IMAGINE?…feeling all the pain of surgery but not being able to tell the doctor…

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So aside from my fears let me get to the nitty gritty of what the doctor told me…

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The CT scan showed numerous masses on both sides of my neck the left side obviously being the more prominent

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The Chest X-Ray, was a bit unclear but showed something there that could be swollen lymph nodes

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The first needle biopsies were of no consequence…other than to let me know that we are now needing to completely remove a lymph node. This surgery is scheduled for April 13th somewhere in the middle of the day (I think that we will spend a lot of the day waiting)

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As a side note he said something about it possibly being cat scratch fever but rules that out because my exposure to our cats is limited. From what I have read cat scratch fever would be treated with antibiotics and I have already been on those twice with no results so it is pretty clear that I do not have that.

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So to move beyond cat scratch fever, he feels that the symptoms and the action of the masses point toward lymphoma (cancer) he seemed pretty sure that is what he believes we will find.

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because of my age, the most likely the form of lymphoma I could have is called Hodgkin’s. Hodgkin’s accounts for less than 1% of all cancers. The other type of lymphoma is Non-Hodgkin’s which is most prevalent in people in their 60’s. The doctor said that the lymphoma is receptive to treatment and that if successful the masses in my neck would ‘melt’ down.

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In regards to the symptoms I’ve been having of…fever…difficulty swallowing…sensitive hearing…heaviness in chest, the doctor seemed to not be concerned…I would ask him to live with the difficulty swallowing and crappy fevers every night and just dismiss it…he did prescribe a steroid to help maybe with the swelling…so I am having high hopes I might get to feel GOOD for at least a week…here’s hoping!

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Of course when we got home mom when on the internet to web md to look up Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma…the symptoms are basically the same, being:

*Painless swelling of one or more lymph nodes, with no recently accompanying infection. (definitely have that one!)

*Symptoms stemming from pressure of swollen lymph nodes on nearby organs or structures. These may include cough and shortness of breath, abdominal pain and swelling, Horner's syndrome (a neurological problem affecting the face and eyes, due to damage to nerves in the neck), nerve pain, and leg swelling. (Yep…that too)

*Fever, either persistent or alternating with periods of normal temperatures. (I have become the low fever queen)

*Pain in lymph nodes after drinking alcohol. (don’t drink so I don’t know)

*Drenching night sweats. (The past couple of months I have been complaining about how I all of a sudden started sweating under the blankets, because I don’t remember having that done before…)

*Unintentional weight loss (more than 10% over six months) (I wish…but by appetite is actually different I don’t snack like at all anymore and like today I simply forgot to eat and by the time our appointment was over at 5:00 I was STARVING.

*Bone pain. (?)

*Increased susceptibility to infections. (always sick so…)

*Total body itching. (?)

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So anyway there is what is going on. On April 13th I will have a lymph node removed to be tested for lymphoma then we will go from there. There were a lot of words like CT Scan of the chest (ka ching!) PET scan (ka ching ching!) ect…with the help of the doctor we are doing one thing at a time as it makes sense in needed things for the diagnosis.

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As I finish up this post I want to say that I am super tired so am sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense. Secondly I just want to thank everyone who is praying for me and loving me…those feelings of love are translating into peace and strength in my life…I was left feeling today that he pretty much thinks it is cancer…it is going to take a little while to sink in.

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Monday, March 15, 2010

Is it fair…

Is it fair…

baby_mullet

that I am already upset with my doctor and the appointment isn’t even until Wednesday. I just know that I am not going to get the kind of answers I want. If I’m sick then I want to BE SICK, this prolonged state of just feeling like crap is, after almost three months, crushing me.

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While I feel he is knowledgeable the last visit lacked any kind of knowing where we go from here…I mean regardless of what is going on I am just supposed to live with a fever every night, difficulty swallowing, crazy sensitive hearing and chest pain? My neck has been tender for the past four days or so (it feels like it is moving up my head and feels really numb like it is asleep or like I got a shot to make it numb).

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I’m getting kinda crabby. Thus the purpose of this post.

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I’m also really achy tired and get out of breath a lot faster than normal (which has been a bit scary). When I get off work in an hour I plan on letting myself sleep as much as I want without worrying about whether it will keep me up until 4a.m. I’ve been really emotional the past few days. I think part of that is being sad about Sandra.

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Then last night I decided to do a little budget and was pleasantly surprised to see that we get paid three times in April…I was NOT so pleasantly surprised that my ENTIRE extra check will be going to pathologists, radiologists, hospitals, kids that live on poplar ave, and the pope. I was in a good place financially. Eight months after bankruptcy and all the lawyer bill is paid off and I could breathe…Now I’m overwhelmed at the thought that the doctor is going to order another biopsy and more tests on Wednesday that I am sure will cost no less than 600 dollars to add to the already 2000. It would have been nice to go to Lane Bryant and get a couple new shirts and a new pair of jeans…All I wear are pajamas and when I do wear real clothes I just feel like I have no choices…I know I’m whining but really was that too much to dream for?

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I am turning in my papers to the hospital for aid on Wednesday as well. After two weeks I should know if they accept that I am in need financially, but I have no idea what kind of discount that entails and I know it doesn’t apply to the pathologists, radiologists, and bike riders, that things are contracted out to…

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But I know I will be O.K. BECAUSE, of my God…

26 Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. (The Message) matt 6:26

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Friday, March 12, 2010

Goodbye

Sandra Kemp
CIMG1868
(Sandra at my moms 50th birthday party, she was a BIG help in planning and putting it together)
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Sandra lost her battle with lung cancer last night. It seems like she was just diagnosed. I am sad, and all I can think about is whether she got the special postcard I sent her this week. I’ve been trying to send her a couple of postcards a week since her diagnosis. We have been to London, Paris, The Rockies, and lots of other places together in those cards…This one was special because it was HUGE… an 8x10 print I found at the thrift store and had this adorable picture of a sad cat on it, she loved cats (with the help of the magic of the Google images I was able to find a picture)
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I just stick glued some construction paper on the back slapped a bunch of postage on it and hoped it would make it…I was told she loved getting the postcards from me, and I am so glad for that.
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I saw her for the last time on Sunday. After church mom and I went and visited for a while. I am glad mom made me go…I am so much more comfortable with cards, e-mails, letters ect…but I would have been upset if I had not had that one last chance to see her.
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Sandra, my mom, and a few other friends got together weekly to talk and hang out, I am glad they got to meet one last time Tuesday of this week.
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Sandra was spunky, and funny, and I will miss her
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Little I Know

Well, the waiting continues…for a while so sorry I can’t really give much news.

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After consulting with the doctor that read my pathology report from the biopsy Dr. Moss is most likely going to recommend another (more invasive) biopsy. The sample wasn’t large enough to get a definitive idea of what might be happening. I only spoke to the nurse and there was not much that she could tell me. I have to wait for my appointment on the 17th to talk to the doctor and get my questions answered. I thought I would be getting a call from the doctor so that I could ask questions and was a bit annoyed at how vague the information was I received.

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When I asked about the results of the CT Scan and X-Ray, she just read a bit of technical jargon…of which I understood “Cyst on left thyroid”. I am assuming they are not too concerned or things would be moving a bit quicker.

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Emotionally: I’m doing well, if anything waiting just wears you down to where you don’t much care anymore. If no one knowledgeable has a sense of urgency then why should I? eh?

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Physically: I feel better than I have in a LONG time. Last week I had a lot more energy. I am still having a hard time swallowing, but thank the Lord it is no longer painful when I eat.

*there is still the random sharp pain on the right side of my chest,

*have an almost constant feeling of wanting to burp air (thank goodness that is pretty much silent cause some of you know how much I HATE burping),

*coughing semi-regularly and

*easy shortness of breath…I sang at church on Sunday and was frustrated at my limitations, and know that I did not do the best I can (but the people at church don’t care so I am trying to see myself through their eyes).

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So there’s the scoop…unsatisfying I know!

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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Proverbs 7:10

And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.




The strange woman dresses to attract men's eyes. Though sexual sin requires removing clothes, a whorish woman puts on clothes to get their attention first. Then with the hook in their eyes, she can proceed with her flattery, kisses, and embrace (7:11-21). Here is Solomon continuing to warn against the horrible dangers of the strange woman (7:1-27).



What is a harlot's attire? It is clothing designed and worn to attract men's eyes to a woman's body and excite the lusts of the flesh for sexual sins. It is accessories and apparel planned to maximize a woman's physical appearance for approval and attention of men. It is a woman's effort at dressing to be as visually attractive as possible.



Christian woman, do you ever dress like a prostitute? You may not intend to do so, but if your clothes draw a man's attention to your body, then you are guilty of this wickedness. And you are an accomplice in the destruction of men's souls, even if you don't sleep with them. If you think prostitutes wear five-inch stiletto heels, fishnet hose, very short black leather skirts, and very tight, bright red sweaters, you prove ignorance of this subject!



Take note! The strange woman is subtil of heart. That means she is very crafty and deceptive in her ways. She does not come right out and say, "I am a whore, and I want you to sin with me." She is not so stupid, cheap, crass, and vile to dress like a street slut. She rather wants to maintain a decent image while securing the visual attention of men.



God made clothes to cover Adam and Eve. While they partially covered certain parts with aprons of fig leaves, the Lord covered them thoroughly with coats of skins (Gen 3:7,21)! Clothes are to cover and conceal, not to uncover and reveal! And skin does not need to show to reveal a woman's figure that leads men's eyes and minds to sexual lust.



The clothing industry does not seek to cover women's bodies; but to flatter, reveal, and uncover. Every year some new feature is designed to reveal more of her body in a more flattering way than before - as this year's low rider jeans. Every Christian woman should take care to be scrupulously modest in attire. Since a woman cannot understand a man's mind, she must listen to men about lustful features of clothing, and avoid most of them.



Short skirts show too much leg; low blouses show too much chest. Everyone knows these clothing choices are wrong. Spandex and spaghetti straps, bare midriffs and low riders, and tight jeans and tube tops are also off limits for modest women. Of course, a husband might like all these! Modesty does not apply to a woman with her husband (Heb 13:4).



But long skirts can show and tease as much or more by their slits, and straight or clingy skirts of any length reveal the hips and derriere too plainly. High blouses made of sheer material can be worse than low blouses, and a turtleneck sweater can emphasize a woman's bosom more than most garments. Long sleeve sweaters can often be immodest.



High heels were not invented for comfort, but to alter the shape of the calves and the movement of the hips while walking. A mincing walk is a wanton walk (Is 3:16). Sleeveless dresses, sandals with straps, lace and gauze overlays, ankle bracelets, and many other items should concern the consciences of women striving for public modesty.



Of course, modern women will rebel at these limitations and restrictions on their apparel choices. But the women of just a few years ago would have thought these ideas to be very inadequate for proper modesty. What is happening? Our nation is in moral freefall into the abyss of lascivious excess. True saints must look for the strait gate and narrow way!



The blessed God, Who created the woman and invented sex, declared that a meek and quiet spirit is precious in His sight (I Pet 3:3-4)! In His sight? In His sight! A gracious and godly woman is beautiful to watch; but her soul and spirit are seen, rather than her body. A noble woman emphasizes holy conduct and a humble and gracious spirit over her hair, accessories, or an outfit. She will adorn herself first and foremost with holiness.



Scripture does not teach women to be frumpy, ugly, or neglected in their appearance. In fact, the virtuous woman was a looker! But she did it in such a way to please and honor the Lord and her husband (31:10-12,22,30). See the comments on 31:22. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Abigail, and other holy women were beautiful to look upon! It is the priority that matters. A woman must emphasize a godly and gracious spirit over physical appearance.



Christian man, since sexual sin with a strange woman begins with a look, there is safety in avoiding her presence as much as possible. You are foolishly sinful to choose places where women dress immodestly (Rom 13:14). If you cannot totally avoid her presence, then avoid looking at her. Why get your lusts even started (I Jn 2:16; Jas 1:13-16)! If you stay far away and avoid looking at immodestly dressed women, the battle is nearly won!



If you are a husband and/or father, make sure your wife or daughters wear modest clothing, or you are an indirect accomplice to the horrible temptations of other men. The saints of God should provide holy and modest companions and assemblies for one another, where sexual temptations by immodest attire are never part of the mix. May the Lord Jesus Christ be praised by such pure and virtuous men and women! Amen.

Monday, March 8, 2010

For Hair Loss

My grandmother was getting bald and she got horsetail/shavegrass from her yard and made a strong tea with it. She sprayed it in her hair every day for I think a week and said she stopped losing hair. She said her hair felt fuller too.

I bought some for myself at the Mexican market when I was pregnant with my last baby and after birth. It looks like small sticks. Health food stores have the actual tea bags. I made the tea real strong and put it in an empty conditioner bottle and let that be the last rinse after washing my hair. I didn't lose nearly as much hair as I did with the last pregnancy & birth. This stuff works. Love, Rosemi

Feminist Spirit

I really think these are the years of the women. Man alive! Women are just worshipped these days. They seemingly can't do anything wrong. Women can stay home and do nothing to build up the home … just sit there and be pretty … and the world would tell her that this is her right. Let a man try that for a while, and he is called a snake. All of this deception lives around us Christian wives and mothers, and we need to be very careful of it. We are fast losing our places in our homes. If we don't get to work and show our husbands that we are making a difference in the quality of the home by staying home, then they won't want to support us.


A wife at home has a definite advantage over her husband in spiritual things. Her husband is really, in a way, sacrificing part of his spiritual life to go out and work for his family. Well, not really, but in a way. I mean, I am here and very able to grow spiritually. Every day I write in the mornings, and my spiritual life has grown a lot as I have been faithful to keep writing. I have noticed that I am so much more clear and have so much more discernment than I used to have. So when Jim starts to match wits with me, I'm liable to blow him into the next state with just a look.

And I know that some of you ladies know what I mean. Trouble is, I am not the head of the house, and God doesn't think I am just because I am more spiritual. This whole thing is like me bragging that I have a winter coat to wear in the cold and he doesn't, when he was the one who bought me the coat.


 While the world may tell us that we can do anything, we better not try that in front of the old man. Pride comes before a fall. In the world, the woman is told to square her shoulders and stick her chest out and do what she wants, regardless of what her husband says. Satan is just pulling these women into slavery. No one can just do as they please — I don't care who they are.

Connie Hultquist  happyhousewifery.com

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Bills before Results

Yesterday's mail greeted me with these...

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Yep, those are the bills for for CT Scan and Chest x-ray. Funny how those made it to me before the results of said tests. Mom says the ease with which I have been billed is because of my lack of insurance. I can see that. As I see it, there are two (possibly three) ways I could react to these gifts in the mail.

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#1. I can get upset, overwhelmed, and crawl under the covers in my comfy bed with Little Bit and cry...cry the kind of ugly snot filled cry of a money strapped girl that until last week was comfortable being broke. Cause broke meant making it. Broke meant healthy don't owe nobody don't wanna owe nobody. Now broke means hmm...do I send the doctors (plural), the radiologist, the CT Scan machine this 40 bucks I have right here, or do I chuck it all, stop breaking the law and get my license plate renewed like a good little girl. (I don’t say this to complain, just a fact of life right now.)

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#2. Face them, introduce myself, tell them to get comfortable, and make a plan, however small and commit?

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#3. My personal favorite...slip the bills into an envelope addressed to me, stamp it, and mail them back to myself once I get some kind of answer from the doctor.

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Maybe the hospital bills so much so that you can focus on something other than the fact that you could be really sick. "What? You say you have a tumor growing out of your neck? Your scared and it hurts? No problem just concentrate on the five different places that will bill you between 150-1200 each and all your pain will go away. We appreciate your business."

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I am seriously thinking about writing a letter to the editor chronicling what I consider the cruelty of billing for a medical procedure before getting the results. All week I have had people who love me anxious to receive results. I believe their worries and cares are what have allowed me to remain sane and livable in this my week off.

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There are a lot of 'letters to the editor' I would like to write. Some serious, some funny, and some just plain petty. Maybe I could start a magazine devoted solely to 'letters to the editor' written by concerned citizens. Everyday heroes willing to speak up for the injustices and sins of the community.

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Besides the current medical billing travesty, saving the rainforests, littering, and the unnecessary use of fowl language the biggest concern I would like to write to the editor would be concerning thrift stores. But, that is a post for another time…

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Sidenote:

Today started with good intentions and ended in complete and utter frustration and disappointment…I realized a lot about myself, not all good, maybe one day I’ll feel like posting about it, but today I just want to acknowledge how completely flawed and incomplete I am…we gotta keep growing or we will die right?

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Funny

I had a lot of fun picking pictures to go with this funny email I got a few years ago :)

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.

black-spider-monkey

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

choking

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

most_mischevious

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

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5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

2300-8232~Einstein-Do-Not-Worry-Posters

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

VB002206.tif

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

funny-pictures-been-sick-lately-BXf

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.

TrippingHazzard

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask ?, "Because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants:

everyone can see it,

but only YOU can feel the true warmth.

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ENEMY CHASERS

Leviticus 26:8, "Five of you shall chase an hundred, and a hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight: and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword."



We can be a close-knit, loving family and yet live to ourselves. I believe we should lift up our eyes to see what an influence we can be as a family to the world. One of the greatest ways we can influence the world is by prayer. The power of praying families is enormous.



Prayer should be part of every home. Jesus said, "My house shall be called a house of prayer." If our home belongs to the Lord, it will be a home of prayer. That means prayers will be conducted daily. That means prayer will happen spontaneously throughout the day. That means prayer will be very natural in our home. It will be as familiar as breathing to our children. As my husband often states, "If we haven't taught our children to pray, we haven't taught them."



One of the most powerful times in our home is our Family Devotions each evening where everyone prays around the table--father, mother and all the children and whoever else happens to be at the table. We pray for current needs. We pray for our nation. Can you imagine the blessings that would come to us if every family prayed together each day for their nation?



We also pray for the nations of the world. It is amazing that we can sit around our dinner table in the Tennessee woods and yet see mighty things happen for God in countries of the world to which we haven't even visited.



Sometimes we will encourage each one to pray for a country that is on their heart or comes to their mind. Currently we are using the book 100 Gateway Cities of the 10/40 Window. After our Bible reading, we read the information about the city in the book. This last week we have been praying for the cities of Casablanca in Morocco, El Aaiun in Western Sahara, Nouakchott in Mauritania, Dakar in Senegal, Banjul in Gambia and Bissau in Guinea Bissau. We are certainly learning our geography! The children learn about the world at the same time they learn to forget about themselves and instead pray for needy, persecuted and often enslaved people in other cities and countries of the world. You can also use Operation World: Day to Day Guide to Praying for the World.



God's Word tells us that five people can chase 100 aliens! How many children in your family? Do you have three! With you and your husband and your children (five of you) you can put 100 enemies to flight! This is amazing! This is powerful! No wonder Satan seeks to get us interested in doing everything else but pray together as a family. Dear mother, I know. There are a thousand things that turn up to lure us away from this powerful ministry. There are even "good things" that will keep us from this "best" task of moving the hand of God in prayer. Watch out for extra-curricular activities which rob us of much togetherness as a family, as especially prayer times.



This powerful ministry doesn't just happen. You have to make it happen. You have to make it a commitment. But you can do it. I have proved it over years and years and we are still doing it today.



As it comes to this culminating moment of the day when we have the Family Altar and pray together, I am aware of the power of what is happening. We are reaching out beyond our four walls. We are going into nations of the world that are closed to the Gospel. We are going into countries where we could be killed for preaching the Gospel--but we are going in by prayer. God is hearing our cries. He hears the cries of the children. He loves children's prayers.



The more people we have around our table, the more prayer goes up to the throne of grace. The more children you have praying around your table, the more impact you have upon the world. Praying together is the most important thing you can do together as a family.



The enemies of God will bite the dust as you and your family pray.



Love from NANCY CAMPBELL



Above Rubies, www.aboverubies.org





PRAYER:



"Oh God, help me to never forget the power of prayer. Show me how I can get my family together every day to pray and impact the world. Amen."



AFFIRMATION:



We are a missionary family, going into the countries of the world through the power of prayer!





The above books mentioned can be purchased by calling 818 577 5599.



You are welcome to copy this article and forward it to your friends or through your Blogs and Face books. This message must go out to woo families back to praying together for our nation and the nations of the world. Nancy

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday and still no answers

Monday I called the doctors office and was asked to be patient. The doctor wanted some clarification from the pathologist who read my biopsies.

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Tuesday…nothing.

unknown

Wednesday…so far (to be fair it is only 11 a.m.) nothing. The nurse who answered the phone on Monday said that the biopsy results confirmed that there is swelling…(you can see from looking at at me that my face is swollen) so the doctor wants a more specific explanation…I’m a bit frustrated, tired of waiting, and scared that when I do hear something it is going to be that they don’t know anything.

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I’m trying to be active in this week, to be present and not stuck in the house but I really don’t feel like going anywhere or doing anything.

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Monday, I slept from 10:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. then went back to bed at 4:00 a.m.

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Tuesday, was a good day. I got up around 9:30…cleaned up the house, took a walk with the dog to the post office, and did a lot of crafting.

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Wednesday, (today) I got up at 8:30 and have been doing things around the house trying to get up the mental energy to go to Jasper and pick up some things at Walgreens maybe go to a thrift store or two. So far today I have ignored a call from a friend and want to ignore a text from someone…not because I don’t want to talk to THEM specifically, just because I don’t want to talk to anyone…It is 11:30 and I am ready for a little nappy nap…My main goal today is to make it to church tonight.

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Anyway the news is there is no news…

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Salsa

4 jalapenos
6 tomatos
1 bunch cilantro
2/3 slice of a large onion
Cut everything up and steam with 1 or 2 oz water and a teaspoon of bullion for about ten minutes. Blend or mash and enjoy.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Healthy Brownies

(with carrot and spinach)

You need:

-nonstick cooking spray

-3 oz semisweet chocolate

-1/2 cup carrot puree

-1/2 cup spinach puree

-1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar

-1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

-2 Tbsp butter

-2 tsp vanilla extract

-2 large egg whites

-3/4 cup oat flour, or all purpose flour

-1/2 tsp baking powder

-1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350 F. Coat an 8x8-inch baking pan with cooking spray. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or over a very low flame. In a large bowl, combine the melted chocolate, vegetable purees,sugar,cocoa powder,butter,and vanilla, and whisk until smooth and creamy, 1 to 2 minutes. Whisk in egg whites. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt. Pour the batter into the pan and bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into bars.

Friday’s Happenings…

Straight after work Friday I headed to the hospital, for my Chest X-Ray and CT Scan. The appointment went very quickly. In and out in an hour.

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First I did this…

CDR0000428438_fullThen I did this…

ctscan_mx8000 Some interesting facts…

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Hospital gowns are NOT user friendly. We walked into the dressing room and the nurse handed me a gown. I looked at her and asked “This will fit me right?” and she said absolutely. So I took it went into the dressing room and found that it did not fit. Being me I just walked out (since I was alone) to the cabinet of gowns and picked a bigger size. I was a bit nervous that I would get in trouble.

but…

I had decided earlier that while I could not control this blasted achy mass on my neck, or that it was and is still sore to swallow, that I can not control what the tests results will say, or whether the treatment will be expensive…I could control this day was whether or not I was comfortable, and I was.

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They tape a TUM (the antacid) to the ‘mass’ they are scanning so that the radiologist can see exactly where to look.

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And, the stuff they inject through the IV for the CT Scan makes you all warm inside…the nurse told me that the warmth sometimes settles in your bladder and can make you feel like you are peeing. I experienced the warmth and am thankful I was educated before being injected.

They said that the tests would be read that day but the doctor would not receive the results until at least Monday.

TODAY

If I don’t hear anything by today I will call first thing Tuesday morning.

After the tests, I went to see the financial services lady. She was very nice, and just as I suspected I do not qualify for any state insurance help. I kept telling mom that basically if you work you will not qualify for Medicaid but she would not be satisfied until I actually applied. So with that option finally out of the way the financial person gave me some paper work to fill out for their financial program. I am JUST above their cut off for help, but she said there is some leeway and I just have to explain why I don’t have insurance and what my expenses are, for example my having a large expense each month for medication…So we will see what happens. She said that they will work with me on paying and that they do not require a large amount each month to be satisfied so I am at peace.

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Last week, I did not do much but work, worry, cry, and sleep. This week has more productive and lofty dreams.

* doing some crafty things to mail out

* taking a walk with my beautiful dog

* doing some much needed filing and paperwork

* using my cell phone to not only text but to actually SPEAK to people

* finding things daily to be thankful for

* capturing a good picture of the beautiful and delightfully chubby cardinal that lives in our front yard (maybe even being crazy and putting up that bird feeder I have wanted to do for a while now.) Oh, and that includes shopping for a bird feeder so that would be fun!

* SLEEP SLEEP and then SLEEP some more

* and blog daily (even if it is just a picture) I like it, and it keeps me somewhat accountable to myself

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