Renewing My Spirit

Hello my sweet sisters. Today's writing will be to renew my spirit. Some of this will be letting go of some things that are bothering my spirit so you are welcome to come back another time when I am not detoxing my thoughts.

Well I've been upset because a fellow sister un-followed my blog a while back and even though I kept following hers for a good while she made it very obvious to me that she did not like me. I have asked her about it and she acts like everything is okay. Something in my spirit says otherwise b/c she didn't even want to post my last comment when I prayed for her. I will not mention her name.

I have come to the conclusion though, that maybe I'm too sensitive. I have also been annoyed with people who used to come and comment but never followed my blog. Obviously I have issues about needing people to like me. This may sound conceited but I just don't understand how any Christian could not like me. Latin women (which I am) are especially sensitive. Maybe, obviously I have spent too much time on the computer in the past and not enough time doing better things at home and this is my chastisement I'm sure. But now I want to just get rid of the bad feelings that come from being obviously not liked by another Christian. The Bible says We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. (1John 3:14). Maybe the problem is with her. I have prayed for her.

Also, I have been hormonal. That's why I have hardly visited any blogs or written, sorry. I have also been experiencing burnout because my dh has worked an entire month, (14 hr days) without taking one day off.

Confessions:
1. I get upset when people unfollow.
2. I get upset only sometimes, when people don't comment.
3. I get upset when people judge me wrongly.
4. I get very upset when people don't tell me when I have offended them. I always apologize. Building lasting relationships is one of my priorities.

Maybe I should explain something. I don't have a car and I don't have any Christian friends that can fellowship with me. The only time I ever feel surrounded by Christians is on the computer. The churches I've gone to by walking or bus so far have not been right for us. I love all Christians and non-Christians that meet in churches but when I feel something is wrong there because of my small children, I will not deal with the hard effort it takes to get there. I can feel closer to God when I stay home or visit nature and read the Bible, pray, and worship God in my spirit.

I have thought of removing the followers gadjet but I think:
1. My followers might get offended.
2. I won't be motivated to write because I won't see much evidence of people who are intrested in my blog. You see, I always wanted to keep a journal but I was never motivated b/c nobody would read it. I want to bless people and if I can't what's the use?

Please forgive me for being so stuck in my own little world of hurt feelings. If you'll remember, I tried to warn everyone at the beginning of my post. I might erase this post later as it probably doesn't serve anyone a useful purpose except myself. I love you all - even if you are not a Christian reader of my blog.

Love, hugs & kisses & many, many blessings from Father above to all. May the only wise God grant you His wisdom for every part of your life.