I am feeling,

a little bit like this guy…

This afternoon was my second appointment with the oncologist (Dr. M). The pathologist report was not done so there is no actual diagnosis. The Dr. said they are pretty sure it is a lymphoma and that he spoke to the person reading my labs and that they will be for sure done by my appointment with him Tuesday afternoon…

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I will be starting chemotherapy next week (I don’t know which day)…Dr. M said that he may admit me to the hospital for a day or two when chemotherapy is started so that he can make sure I have enough fluids…

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The CT Scan of my abdomen and pelvis showed some enlarged lymph nodes in my stomach but nothing going farther down (so there is some good news)…

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According to the scales in both the radiation department and the oncologists office I have lost 4lbs since Monday…I don’t know if I was weighed at a different time of day or what…I have had less of an appetite and have been drinking A LOT less soda…for some reason that rapid loss in weight really scares me…to date I have lost a little over 15lb…

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I will not be going to work next week.

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Yesterday I between radiation and my CT Scan, I had a meeting with a women from Claim Aid…she is a representative that works at the hospital and helps people apply for Medicaid and state assistance…things went well, we will not know for a couple of months unless I get a diagnosis that would allow us to ask for an expedited approval process…A couple of weeks ago I applied for aid from the hospital, and while I have not heard anything ‘official’ the women that was helping me with the Claim Aid said she heard the other women who does the hospital assistance program say that I was approved for assistance, we don’t know how much it is but it doesn’t matter…so approved or not from the state I am able to stop looking at all these machines I’m going in as HUGE dollar signs…what a weight lifted!

Today: I had my 4th radiation treatment and the appointment with my oncologist…I have been coughing quite a bit…but no blood though so that is great!

Friday: I get my 5th radiation treatment

Weekend: I get off to process…and I need it!

Monday: I get my 6th radiation treatment, and a bone marrow biopsy from my pelvis…along with some lab work…also I am to get a lung and heart test to get a starting level of where I am before chemo is started.

Tuesday: I get my 7th radiation treatment…and my 3rd official appointment with Dr. M that will hopefully give us some certainty in diagnosis about which lymphoma it is…I don’t think they would be starting chemo and all this other junk if they weren’t sure, but I would like to be able to say with certainty.

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I HAVE CANCER…I feel like there would be some freedom in that, does that make sense?

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I am…