Exposed

Before I get to the real reason for this post let me say that I can’t believe only one person has entered my giveaway…are my mattes not desirable? Hmmmm….so get on over, or rather scroll on down and enter….

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K…Back to business…

I’m feeling lead to start a support group.

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Specifically a depression/anxiety support group.

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I have been struggling to be a part of ANYthing the past six months. Calling a friend for lunch or to say HI has become paralyzing. I am incapable of making eye contact with anyone and be it true or not (I am convinced I have done something to make) no one interested in anything in my life….and I don’t think I have done anything wrong or offensive I am just boring. I see everyone busy with the task of living their life and I am NOT…I am NOT living my life, and I’m not fitting into theirs.

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Intentionality…people who struggle with depression need people to be intentional about connecting with them. I need people need to be intentional about connecting to me. I need to be needed by others. I wish I could adequately put into words how hard it is, and how easy it is to get sucked in...deep.

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A week ago after Wednesday night church I approached my associate pastor. I told him my idea because I’m attempting to be obedient even when I’m unsure. Surprisingly he perked a bit and gave me information of someone in the church who he said would really like to talk to me about this subject.

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It has been a couple of days of trying to get a hold of each other but I am confident when I do speak to this person something is going to happen…a group of support will probably be formed and maybe, just maybe…I will crawl out from under the safety of my flannel sheets, and open my black-out curtains.

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I am thinking about calling this group EXPOSED…I’m a little apprehensive because it could connote well…something other than support….but that is all I can think of…all I can think of is how I need to be exposed…how this monster named ‘depression’ needs to be exposed for the jerk that he is…how being exposed is the only way he will be defeated...being exposed is the only way others are going to understand how complex this deasise is…and how a group is desperately needed to expose the truth, to take the myths away, to provide a safe haven, and to empower those who don’t know where to turn.

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I feel a pretty big sense of responsibility. A sense of responsibility to educate because I was lucky to have taken six weeks OUT of my life so that I can be back IN life. Were those six weeks a cure? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Those six weeks were a leveling period…a time for my meds to be leveled, a time for intense internal challenging, a time to incredibly broken, and a time for being put back together…

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I just keep forgetting the maintenance that is involved, so this forming of a group of support is a selfish pursuit…and well I’m alright with that…

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Please join me in prayer that I am being obedient to what God is leading…

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Also, let me know how you feel about the name.