Desperation is better than Despair

If God always rescued those who were true to him, Christians would not need faith.

I needed rescuing. God wasn’t rescuing me. I was angry. I was feeling despair. I gave up. Moving home was a huge financial change in my life. I cannot pay my bills on the salary I make currently. I can’t pay my bills mostly because I have gotten myself into both necessary and irresponsible debt. I made mistakes. I am over being ashamed about them. I have decided it is time to take action. Things only get worse when you ignore the problem. I have not really paid a bill in two months. I get paid, reconcile what I owe with what I make and throw my hands up in the air. Two days ago I had an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney. It went well. The only set back is that I live with my mom and brother and their income is considered. Together the three of us make more than the state would like. It is hard to understand and thus I cannot explain. I am cautiously optimistic. I have to move forward. This is my only choice.

We should be faithful to serve God whether he intervenes on our behalf or not.

I have NEVER been good at tithing. My dad was not so good at money, and I am my father’s daughter. I’m very impulsive, I justify purchases, instant gratification is the name of the game. For three months, there has been none of that, I don’t go and buy clothes, not because I wouldn’t LOVE to but because I simply can’t. I started tithing three months ago. I don’t have stories of how when I started tithing God came down and met all my needs. I kind of expected that. I had gotten SO tired of hearing sermons about the ways God had provided for those who were faithful. I will continue to give my tithe, not because I expect the blessing to come SOMETIME, but because it is the obedient thing to do. Obedience is my blessing, being humbled is my blessing, and I am starting to be thankful. I’ve longed for an understanding of being humble for years. Be careful what you long for huh?

Trust God in every situation. There are eternal reasons for temporary trials, so be thankful that your destiny is in God's hands not in human hands.

In an attempt to be more thankful for the things in my life I have been trying to blog daily five things for which I am thankful. It has been difficult. I can be silly all day long, but when it comes to finding real things throughout the day that I am thankful for I’m struggling. My new idea is to live what I want to be and hope to one day wake up and BE it. This morning I woke up with quite a bit of energy, ready to face some people I didn’t want to and to start taking some responsibility. It felt good.

Faith does not make our desperate days. Its work is to sustain and solve them. The only alternative to a desperate faith is despair and faith holds on and prevails.

Shadrach Meshach & Abednego
13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?" 16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
Daniel 3:13-18

God has really been talking to me concerning his intervention in my life. I have come to understand that he will not save me because he has ALREADY saved me. I want my response to the world to be the same as the three Hebrew children. "the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

I hope for this to become the cry of my heart.
(the larger words in italics are from a devotional and from the notes in my bible, they are not my words, they inspired my smaller words :)