Satan sure knows how to kick us when we are down.
He knows when we are trying to follow, to be obedient.
Man does he get scared and jump into action. "You wanna follow Jesus?” Satan says, "then take this":
Bam: doubt and insecurity fill your mind.
Pow: you have to go to the Dr. and get an expensive medication you can't afford.
Kaboom: out of the blue you get a critical letter from someone.
Whack: you are not pregnant for the third month in a row.
Boom: you lose your temper with your kids, or you say something you shouldn't have to someone you love.
Your first reaction? My first reaction is to stop moving forward to withdrawal, hide, hunker down, and prepare for the rain.
Shouldn't our first reaction be, yes, to stop but then to turn and run away from him? Running into the promised fortress and protection of Jesus? Then, after being taken care of, restored, energized, should we not go out and try again. Stand eye to eye with the devil, and say "in the name of Jesus, Satan I command you to flee".
Then go. In the name of Jesus. Go and do, go and be, go and make. Man that is what I want to do.
Last night I felt knocked down. I was getting the courage to walk in the light, to be optimistic no matter what my brain says to me, to embrace that the truth will indeed set me free.
Literally, I had just written a plan to blog something positive once a day (about something I'm thankful for, something that makes me happy, some memory that makes me smile), when I checked my e-mail and had a letter from a well-intentioned person telling me how I need to be more positive, it was kind of chastising.
It made me mad, I don't like to do things that people want me to do. It’s a hazard of this generation, to repel from any kind of "authority". So, to be told what I need to do from someone I don't think understands what is going on in my life is well, not okay with me.
It is impossible to effectively describe how I feel most days. It is kind of like I am disconnected, not capable of really ever feeling anything. I react to things the way I think I am supposed to, the way society expects. I have a hard time with empathy, and I feel like I am supposed to be ashamed. I'm a very black and white person, hard for me to live in shades of gray. I am fiercely protective of those I love, but the group of those I love is small. It is hard for me to, not; speak my mind, to bite my tongue. I can do it, but sometimes it is hard.
As the night has gone on I have calmed down. I have decided that I can't continue to be negative for the sake of my pride. That would just be silly wouldn't it?
So here are the 5 things I am thankful for today:
Flip flops
Flannel sheets
Moms mashed potatoes
Feeling safe in my home
Being silly, no matter who thinks you’re weird
I am afraid this finding five things a day to be thankful for is going to be hard. I am trying to feel free in my weaknesses, because this trying to be perfect BEFORE I even put a toe in the water of my future is CRAZINESS. Just go…on faith believing.
This morning I am encouraged.
This song has been on my mind for the past three days.
He knows when we are trying to follow, to be obedient.
Man does he get scared and jump into action. "You wanna follow Jesus?” Satan says, "then take this":
Bam: doubt and insecurity fill your mind.
Pow: you have to go to the Dr. and get an expensive medication you can't afford.
Kaboom: out of the blue you get a critical letter from someone.
Whack: you are not pregnant for the third month in a row.
Boom: you lose your temper with your kids, or you say something you shouldn't have to someone you love.
Your first reaction? My first reaction is to stop moving forward to withdrawal, hide, hunker down, and prepare for the rain.
Shouldn't our first reaction be, yes, to stop but then to turn and run away from him? Running into the promised fortress and protection of Jesus? Then, after being taken care of, restored, energized, should we not go out and try again. Stand eye to eye with the devil, and say "in the name of Jesus, Satan I command you to flee".
Then go. In the name of Jesus. Go and do, go and be, go and make. Man that is what I want to do.
Last night I felt knocked down. I was getting the courage to walk in the light, to be optimistic no matter what my brain says to me, to embrace that the truth will indeed set me free.
Literally, I had just written a plan to blog something positive once a day (about something I'm thankful for, something that makes me happy, some memory that makes me smile), when I checked my e-mail and had a letter from a well-intentioned person telling me how I need to be more positive, it was kind of chastising.
It made me mad, I don't like to do things that people want me to do. It’s a hazard of this generation, to repel from any kind of "authority". So, to be told what I need to do from someone I don't think understands what is going on in my life is well, not okay with me.
It is impossible to effectively describe how I feel most days. It is kind of like I am disconnected, not capable of really ever feeling anything. I react to things the way I think I am supposed to, the way society expects. I have a hard time with empathy, and I feel like I am supposed to be ashamed. I'm a very black and white person, hard for me to live in shades of gray. I am fiercely protective of those I love, but the group of those I love is small. It is hard for me to, not; speak my mind, to bite my tongue. I can do it, but sometimes it is hard.
As the night has gone on I have calmed down. I have decided that I can't continue to be negative for the sake of my pride. That would just be silly wouldn't it?
So here are the 5 things I am thankful for today:
Flip flops
Flannel sheets
Moms mashed potatoes
Feeling safe in my home
Being silly, no matter who thinks you’re weird
I am afraid this finding five things a day to be thankful for is going to be hard. I am trying to feel free in my weaknesses, because this trying to be perfect BEFORE I even put a toe in the water of my future is CRAZINESS. Just go…on faith believing.
This morning I am encouraged.
This song has been on my mind for the past three days.
Over and over and over again.
It is the cry of my heart.
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
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