Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury

Obviously NSFW for the audio. Unrelated to and contrary to what you'd expect of someone getting such a tribute as this song, earlier this week Bradbury decried modern technology. "We have too many cellphones. We've got too many Internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now."

Photo Of The Day - Kylie's Happy Bear

The Advocate reports that Facebook took down Kylie Minogue's self-posted photo as too raunchy. A Facebook rep told the disco pixie: "We do not allow photos that contain nudity, drug use or violence." It's just a microphone, kids.

Hair Dye Company Offers Anderson Cooper One Million Dollars To Leave Gray Town

The Orlando Sentinel reports today that a hair dye company has offered CNN host Anderson Cooper one million dollars if he'll use their product to do away with his famous silver hair for five years.

The offer comes from Rise-N-Shine, the makers of Go Away Gray. “We feel like Anderson Cooper is a really visible and well-respected figure and thought he would be a great spokesperson for the product and the company.” said Cathy Beggan, the product’s developer And it doesn’t hurt that he’s a handsome gentleman.” Go Away Gray is a pill containing the enzyme Catalese. The company is willing to deliver the cash to Cooper after using the pills for 60 days and sharing his experiences with the new look via social media such as Twitter and Facebook.

It's a hair dye PILL? Yikes. The company suggests Cooper take the deal and donate the money to charity.

Facebook Goes Foursquare

For those who insist that the entire world know their precise whereabouts at every single moment. Do not get.

Rolls Eyes

After ejecting a woman from their meeting because she rolled her eyes at them, the Elmhurst, Illinois city council is looking into making the gesture illegal.

Members of the Elmhurst city council have asked the City Attorney to look into the creation of a "disturbance and disorderly conduct" violation and to see if eye-rolling could somehow be shoehorned into its definition. Illinois state law defines disorderly conduct is "an act in such unreasonable manner as to alarm or disturb another, or to provoke a breach of the peace." While she apparently is against a prohibition on eye-rolling, the Elmhurst citizen who was booted from the meeting says she's all for having a definition of disorderly conduct in the city's books. "I'd like for them (city officials) to have a better understanding of the open meetings act and its meaning and to understand what disorderly conduct is," she explained.

Next on the council's agenda: talking to the hand. In NYC, the Duane Reade employee eye-roll is considered high art.

Golden Girls Nesting Dolls

Source.

Levi For Mayor!

Stashitware

Underwear with a secret drug pocket for evading those nightclub security pat-downs. I know a few guys who could have used this back in the circuit party days. (If they had actually worn underwear, that is.) At Gothamist, John Del Signore notes that the NYPD has already issued a bulletin about the underwear. Attention all cars! Be on the look-out for big dick bulges!

Anti-Target Flash Mob

(Tipped by JMG reader Aaron)

He's On A Cow

Dr. Daniel Freilich is challenging incumbent U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy in next week's Democratic primary in Vermont. Here's his take on the popular Old Spice commercials.

(Via - Towleroad)

Best Facebook Page (So Far)

Team Slater

On sale now. His Facebook fan page has 137,000 members already.

Email Of The Day

"Hey, Joe. My name is Morgan Tepsic, I'm 20 years old and my dream is to jump around the world naked. Here's 2,600 shots in motion showing what I've done so far...it's not very long, and the music is really great. Thanks and have a good day, Morgan."

OK, then. NSFW, y'all.

The Ballad Of Steven Slater

The chorus is pretty catchy!

The Animated Steven Slater

Taiwan's Apple Action News' specialty is computer animations of breaking events. Here's their take on JetBlue folk hero Steven Slater, complete with that "sexual embrace" with his boyfriend.

Send In ALL The Clowns

Since I dissed Send In The Clowns as my most hated Sondheim number last week, it's only fair that I post this amusing send-up by impressionist Carly Sakolove in which she channels Bernadette, Patti, Carol, Liza, Judy and others. Elaine Stritch made me LOL, literally. I'll leave it to our true show queens here to assess which impressions are best.

Messiah Cat Haz Arisen

(Via - Copyranter)

Great Things Come In Bears

JMG reader Bernard tips us that Warner Bros. is raising some eyebrows with the tagline and poster for the new Yogi Bear movie. I can't wait for the wingnut reactions!

Cazwell - Ice Cream Truck

It's no I Seen Beyonce At Burger King, but at least there's lots of eye candy. Probably NSFW!

Maggie Sees A Shrink

"They want marriage to be a sick, twisted perversion that would make the Baby Jesus cry. I like to think of Jesus as a baby. Thinking of Jesus with pubic hair is disgusting!"