Just Tell Me What to Do!

I am having a rough week…

physically I ACHE…my muscles ache/hurt, and I can’t sleep enough! I had a Doctor’s appointment today and he said one of my numbers were lower and that is why I am feeling so crummy…He gave me the options of getting a blood transfusion or getting a Procrit shot (once a week for 4 weeks)…

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The transfusion sounds like such a dramatic step so I am opting for the shots…from what I understand the transfusion would be an instant way of feeling better and the shots are going to be more subtle and take longer to see an improvement…I will get the first shot on Friday while I am there for chemo…

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Honestly, I’m super annoyed with the doctor I saw today…it was not my regular oncologist (whom I love) and I feel like this doctor did not explain my options well to me, and I really don’t like it that he gave me a choice…I just want to be told what to do…I tried to get him to tell me what he recommended and he was just so wishy washy…I hate it that the first time my numbers are lower and I’m feeling really bad I don’t get to see my regular doctor (who I know would have been more decisive)…

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I was already anxious and to ask me to make that choice in two seconds was overwhelming…

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I also found out that radiation does not usually start until 4 or 5 weeks AFTER the last chemo treatment…this is news to me…I was talking to the nurse asking her how long after chemo treatments do I stop feeling SO tired and she said, it could take months to really get back to feeling normal (not that I have any idea what normal feels like anymore)…I also asked her what the effects of 4 weeks of radiation will be…when I had it before it was only for a week so I don’t think I really had any side effects…she said that the main thing people say is that radiation makes you really fatigued…

GREAT!

just want I wanted to hear…

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I am feeling anxious, crabby, tired (my sleep schedule is COMPLETELY messed up), hurting, achy, lonely, and defeated…