Last night I met with an old friend.
It went...okay...I guess
Nothing has changed.
I still love this person.
My heart still aches.

Aches for what I see behind their eyes.
They are still a child of the

Living, Loving, Healing God.

I've become VERY good about being numb when it comes to this person.

Numb and Guarded.

Its safer that way...trust me.

It could be and will probably be months before I hear from them again.

All expectations have dissipated but, not all HOPE gone.

Hope is always there, always has been.

If love is a verb
and a verb signifies action
we have been on pause for a long time.

Sounds harsh but its true.

I always leave this person feeling regret.
I had a list of things that I felt regret for, So I thought "hey they are still in town, I don't have to let them leave with my regrets." So at 8 in the morning I went over to their parents house and I said what I should have said last night, I held on, I hugged tight, I was vulnerable. Man did it feel good. I can now go to sleep (i work nights) with a completely clear conscience.

I hope they keep better contact.
I hope they let those who love them in.
I hope that they realize they are the one that has to do the work to heal some relationships, because I can't.
I hope they are really happy.
I hope for them to want to share more of their life with me.

I, on faith believing...will continue to invest my heart.
They are worth it.